Because I Know
by SilentVex
Summary: There are many thoughts and feelings that Erza Scarlet keep hidden from the world behind her armour, including her feelings for a certain pink haired Dragon Slayer.


**Author's notes: Sooo yeah this is an idea that I threw together today to give myself a break from working on Outcasts and write something short. I enjoy writing things like these, it has a different sense of pacing to it; here it's just a short piece that you can write, bam, and be done whereas longer pieces feel like climbing a mountain. You have to plan what's happening in the story, then what will go into the chapter, then you have to write it, any spur-of-the-moment changes have to be accounted for in the big picture and then you actually have to write it... ugh!  
**

**Anyway, enough moaning. **

**I've only recently gotten into Fairy Tail and I have watched up to the Fantasia parade. Already, having gotten this far into the show I've had multiple ideas of possible short stories to write when I have them ironed out and I feel like actually writing them. The only reason I wrote this today was A) Because it was the shortest one in my mind and B) The one most likely to be bad, so I wanted to get it out of the way.**

**I hope that this turned out at least semi-passable and if it is as bad I anticipate be sure to tell me! That way I'll be able to either improve it if you give me some constructive criticism or just scrap it if I think it's unsalvageable.**

**This is Vex signing out!**

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**Because I Know**

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I love Natsu Dragneel.

That is a fact, regardless of the manner with which I behave around him. Although there are many instances in which I must chastise him, below the brash, impulsive outer layers is a strong and reliable man whom I would trust with my life any day.

I remember when I first met him. One day the master came into the guild hall with a pink, spiky haired boy beside him, wearing his scale-patterned scarf. Everybody was intrigued; it wasn't every day that the master brought someone with him to the guild. Apparently Gray had muttered something, not knowing at the time about Natsu's incredible hearing. Needless to say that was the first fight that they had fought and it was certainly not the last that I had to stop.

As for when I first started feeling like this, that would have been those three days in which I tutored him in guild life after seeing the difficulty he was having. I must admit I may have been a bit harsh on him at that time but he worked hard and his determination was just downright incredible. How could I not have grown to like him? Back then I would sometimes find myself daydreaming about

I love him; that is how I feel, no more, no less. Despite my desire to do so, I have never told him – nor do I plan to do so. I'm not afraid of rejection in the least, I just can't do it. I can't do it because of her.

Lisanna.

In comparison to Mira she was the nicest person you could have ever met - a little sister to all of us. Once, she and Natsu spent weeks together caring for the egg that he had found in the forest; they spent so much time together that it was common for neither of them to turn up at the hall at all. When the egg hatched to reveal the small blue cat, the joy that day was infectious. She was the one who came up with the name Happy. As much as it hurt, I could see how happy they were together. There was no way I would do anything to break that.

For years I remained silent, content in the knowledge that he was happy but one day, I don't know why, I just felt like I had to talk about it to someone. Being the person she was, it was Lisanna who I decided to go to, even though it was partly to do with her... or maybe _that_ was the reason I want to her.

It didn't take as long as I thought it would to admit everything to her and I made sure to stress the fact that I was not going to make any advances on him out of respect for their feelings - even though Natsu would never admit his true feelings. What she did still surprises me; she wrapped her arms around my mid-section, her forehead pushed against my armoured chest, and began to cry. She wouldn't stop, apologising for 'what I had been going through' as though it were her fault. Not once have I ever blamed her for how things were.

So there we stood: she, sobbing onto my chest plate, and I, doing my best to comfort her. The world certainly works in strange ways... and cruel ways.

A few weeks after that, she died...

There was not a single person who was not saddened by her death, she really was loved by all. Mira and Elfman had drastic changes in their personalities after the loss of their baby sister. As for Natsu... I never want to see him looking like that again. Though such a tragic thing had just happened, there was a part, almost unnoticeable, thought lingering in the deepest darkest depths of my mind, whispering to me.

'Look at him Erza. Comfort him, this is your chance!'

I was disgusted at the thought that had been produced by my brain, appalled that it was even a consideration. I couldn't bring myself to be near him after that, so I took job after job, doing my best to not stay in Magnolia for long, or any amount of time for that matter. A person who's mind entertains the thought of taking advantage of such a situation deserves nothing less. And so I ran from him.

This continued for months during which time I only saw the pink haired dragon slayer once or twice at most. Whenever I saw Gray I would ask him how things were going back home and I was always relieved to hear anything regarding Natsu being well, be it his... enthusiastic approach to jobs usually resulting in a lot of paperwork for the master, or how he started some fight in the guild again... now that you mention it everything he does causes the master a lot of grief, but that's just Natsu for you.

It was coming on for a year when I finally rejoined proper guild life. I returned after hearing about the dark guild Eisenwald being up to something and ended up having to take Natsu, Gray and Lucy with me to stop them.

Lucy... even as a newcomer there was something familiar about her, it was vague but it was definitely there. Maybe that's one of the reasons that everyone took so quickly to her, even in her short time being a member of Fairy Tail.

In the weeks since then with everything that's happened, the Galuna mission and the battles with Phantom Lord, it feels as though she's been one of us for much longer than she has, regardless of the fact that she feels the need to constantly say she's new. Also the way that Natsu acts around her... it's so very similar to Lisanna. If things end up going that way for the pair of them then good luck is all I'll say and if it doesn't then I'll stay quiet.

I love Natsu Dragneel.

I'll never speak up though because, unlike Lucy, I know. I wouldn't be okay with it even if he did say yes.

Because I know about what once was.

Because I know what could have been...


End file.
